The battle over health care (March 23)

As Congress prepares to vote on the horrible Republican bill to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act it seems like a good time to tell Lucas’s story again in the context of health care reform. You see, back in 2009 when Lucas was in the  NICU after being born two months early, we took a crash course in the failures of the American health care system right as Congress was debating what would become known as Obamacare. It was kind of surreal – we were living in Washington DC, the Tea Party was on the rise and rallying against what they called “socialism” (if only!), Democrats were watering down what was an already insufficient health care reform bill… and Lucas’s future as a medically fragile baby without a diagnosis was very much in flux. But there was one thing we knew for sure at that point: our family was going to be all-too dependent on doctors, hospitals and the insurance industry going forward, and the system we were already immersed in desperately needed to be improved.

We had a lot of time on our hands to ponder and write about what was going on — back then we used to publish multiple blog posts every week, sometimes every day. One of them that I recently re-read was called Hating the health insurance industry in which we explained in exhaustive detail the hoops we were having to jump through to get Lucas the care he needed, concluding with this paragraph:

And of course we’ll work not just to benefit Lucas, but also advocate for a health care system in this country that takes care of everyone’s needs. And we’ll dream of the day when we can take “Resistencia” T-shirts to all of Lucas’s doctors and they’ll get excited about the idea of hitting the streets to expand a vibrant, holistic, high-quality public health care system. And we’ll dream of Lucas out there will his fist raised too.

We’ve done our best to keep our commitment to the struggle for healthcare for all, and in the seven and a half years since we wrote those lines he’s been in the streets with us at dozens of demonstrations, including a rally in downtown Seattle on a cold day this past January alongside thousands of people demanding that the ACA be preserved.

In March, 2010 when Obamacare finally became law, we wrote about the ways in which it was immediately going to benefit Lucas and our family (even as we lamented how the bill should have gone further.) In particular, we celebrated the provisions which eliminated lifetime insurance caps and made it illegal for insurance companies to deny coverage to children with pre-existing conditions. We also recognized that the expansion of Medicaid was likely to benefit many poor families and people with disabilities, in particular families of kids with disabilities who didn’t have the same level of financial security that we were fortunate to have.

In the years to follow, millions of people got health care coverage that literally saved lives and made it possible to live with less hardship and constant worry about getting sick. And now they want to take all of that away– not only bring the country back to where we were before Obamacare, but makes things markedly worse.

In 2012 we were asked to be part of a story about the anniversary of the ACA, and Lucas was subsequently featured twice in the Seattle Times, including in a front page picture and story. In a way, Lucas became a poster-child for the successes of Obamacare, and we’ve tried to tell his story in ways that would illuminate the cruelty of Republican attempts to do away with the progress that has been made. Recently the Trump White House asked for Obamacare failure stories and instead thousands of people posted their stories of how it had benefited them, including this one that I submitted:

My son Lucas is quite possibly alive today because of Obamacare. He was born with a severe neuromuscular disease in 2009 right around the time that the ACA was being debated. When it went into law, provisions that prevented insurance companies from excluding people with pre-existing conditions and prevented lifetime caps allowed us to have health insurance so that my son’s complex needs could be cared for. Like tens of millions of other Americans, we are grateful for Obamacare, and if you take it away you should know that you are threatening the lives of kids like Lucas. Don’t do it!

Now, they are preparing the vote on the repeal and replace bill in the House and so far grassroots pressure has prevented Speaker Paul Ryan and the Trump administration from bringing their bill to the floor. It may happen tomorrow, but even if it does pass the House there will still be an even bigger hurdle to clear in the Senate. The fight will likely last into the summer, and we hope all of you out there will send letters, make calls, post stories, show up at rallies, and continue to advocate for improvements to — not a dismantling of — our health care system.

23rd March, 2017 This post was written by burke No Comments

Five Years Since Our Move (March 13)

Five years ago we packed up our incredibly complex lives, said goodbye to so many amazing people, and moved to Seattle.  It is hard to believe – its been so fast and so long, all at once.  We wrote a short post the next day about the trip – its mostly fun to look back and see what Lucas looked like five years ago.  And to remember how important Roy and Silo (the daddy penguins he carried everywhere) were to him back then!

Burke and I got to read some of our writing about parenting at a Rad Families book release event this weekend, along with some amazing parents/writers.  They inspired me to want to keep at this!  So here is my reflection today – a letter to myself.


 

Things You Could Not Have Known Five Years Ago

1 – Lucas will love headphones, and They Might Be Giants “ABCs” album on repeat will get you half way across the country.

2- You will all survive the flight.  Literally.  Lucas will not die of altitude or a plugged airway or a vent stopping because you forgot a back-up battery.

3 – You are not crazy for hyperventilating on the way to the airport.  Of course this is terrifying – keeping your baby alive AND saying goodbye to the people who have held you through hell and back, through joy and celebration and loving your unbelievable child.

4 – The people in charge will let you and all your gear and special liquid food and power cords and resuscitation bags through security and onto the plane.  Breathe.

5 – You will be able to hold your big, floppy baby/toddler/boy in your arms and smile down on him in flight.  There will come a time a couple years later, when he gets too big for this.  You will coax him into being held a little bit longer.  But then a time will come when you wonder when the last time was that you held your kid in your lap.  Were you fully present that time to soak it up?  Were you distracted by your endless churning of mental to-do lists?  Add “savor this moment” to your to-do list today.

6 – He will grow so big that the twin bed he gets when you move to the new city eventually becomes too small for snuggling.  But you will get a bigger bed that is perfect.  There will come an age when he all he wants is to be left alone with his i-pad all day, but come bedtime he’ll still whisper to you, “I want to snuggle.”

7 – You will never regret this decision to get on this plane, even on the days your heart longs for your dearest people who are now so far away.

8 – It will be painfully hard and isolating at first, moving to a new city with a child on a ventilator.  This will never go away completely, but it will fade further and further into the background as you are welcomed into new communities in the new town.

9 – You will have a baby in this new city and Lucas will go through an overnight metamorphosis, from an utterly (and appropriately) self-absorbed five year old to a sweet, generous big brother.

10 – In this new home you will add “gratitudes” to your bedtime routine.  As you and Burke tuck him into bed each night, he will start you off with his “I am grateful for…”  Regularly he will finish his sentence with a heartfelt “you guys.”

13th March, 2017 This post was written by krista 5 Comments

Ida is TWO (March 2)

Did we mention Ida turned TWO YEARS OLD? She is such a big kid now, with big likes (books, pasta, Duck and Moose pajamas) and dislikes (vegetables on most days) and a big swagger and parade wave. She has so much amazing personality, so we thought we’d take this marker to give a snapshot of the amazing joy that is Ida right now.

She has been talking for a while, but she is now piecing together more and more things to say. Some of my favorite conversations recently include:

Me: Do you want blueberries in your oatmeal?

Ida: Blueberries in the MOUF! (ie. straight into my mouth)

Me: Its time for a nap – can you please lie down?

Ida: UPSTAIRS, MOMMY MILK! UPSTAIRS, MOMMY MILK! PLEEEEAAASE!!

Me: Do you want to wear the cat shirt or the bird shirt?

Ida: Cat shirt! No cat shirt! Bird shirt! No bird shirt! Cat shirt! No cat shirt! NO BIRD SHIRT!!!!

There is also a lot of directing of where everyone should go, including her pointing at a spot up on a chair or couch and saying definitively “Ida right THERE!” Today before her nap I tried to lie down on the bed with her to read a book in the exact spot she pointed to. Ida didn’t like that I was lying down, so she instructed “Mommy sit up, read.”

Did I mention she is definitive?

Ida is also really into songs. She’ll sing songs, or at least parts of songs, all on her own – Ba Ba Black Sheep, the ABCs, and a number of songs from music class. For her birthday party our friend Julian (who is a rock start at 2 ½) led a sing-along while strumming his ukulele. When he started singing Ba Ba Black Sheep Ida’s face lit up like a teenager at their first rock show. Then Julian took it up several notches by leading us in This Land is Your Land and then, at his suggestion, We Shall Overcome. We can get you his contact information if you want to book him.

And she loves reading books. It’s no longer just a flipping through pages, but she really goes through and studies the books. She’s memorizing some, like Eric Carle’s Baby Bear, Baby Bear (also one of Lucas’s old favorites). And she reads books by combining what she remembers with what she sees in the pictures. This morning after music class she read a Sandra Boyton book to a younger kid in her class. Pointing at the pictures and turning the pages, she read to him “One dog, arf. Twoooooo dogs, woof woof! One cat, meeeee-ow. One donkey, hee-haw, hee-haw.” It is almost unbearably cute.

And Ida is developing color preferences. She picks out things that are pink and purple more often than not when she has a choice, which is challenging me. I’m working to find the balance between protecting her from some of the limitations of girl-socialization, while also giving her some self-determination around clothes, balloons, the shaker instruments she chooses at music class, etc. But her wardrobe is still varied, with many of Lucas’s old clothes and a variety of other hand-me-downs.  And clearly I’ve done quite a bit of curating of her clothes options, since there are days that she and I manage to leave the house in a similar combination of navy blues and earth tones. But I have a feeling those days are coming to an end.

Ida is still obsessed with Lucas. She studies everything he does and everything we do for him, and she tries her best to be part of all of it. She knows how to put on a stethoscope and check heart and belly sounds. She tries to predict where we are in his routine morning routine so she can “help” us with his tube feeding or his brace. A couple times now she has gone to his suction machine, loaded up the right catheter for a trach suction, and then reached up and pulled his vent off him for a trach suction. She even knows how the tubes for feeding work and tries her best to find the hole in her tummy to put the food in.

It is both scary and amazing to see how detailed her observations are. Fortunately Lucas is incredibly patient. She’s even accidentally pulled his trach out. I tried to explain to her – and told him he could tell her, too – that it hurts Lucas when she does that. He paused and then just said “that time it didn’t feel so bad.”  Even when she does something dangerous, we try to remember that she is just curious. The other day when we were all looking the other way, she went over to Lucas’s extra vent and grabbed the circuit. I glanced over just as she held the end up to the exact spot on her throat where a trach would go.

As I write this she is gathering up her creatures — stuffed animals of all stripes that she ties onto a “leash” and drags around the house on walks.  Earlier today she squealed with delight and came running out of the bathroom delighted that “piggy in poddy!”  I went in prepared to save a drowning stuffed pig, but instead she had placed it in her (dry and generally unused) toddler potty.  We celebrated the pig’s great job by getting a square of toilet paper.  Ida was thrilled to “wipe” the pig and flush the toilet paper down the big toilet.  There are so many things to be excited about when you’re two!

 

Here are a few videos of her cuteness.  Enjoy!

2nd March, 2017 This post was written by krista 3 Comments

 

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